Friday, February 27, 2015

10 Issues a Geek Parent Will Face

Before you get on me about it, no I am not jumping on the Buzzfeed wagon of numbered lists. It was the best way to present this thought.

Every parent knows that there will be conversations or milestones that are going to be awkward. They know that lessons will need to be taught and issues explained. The manner in which some of these issues or lessons present themselves can be unique as a geek parent.

There are activities and interests that a geek parent will share with their offspring that can lead to some surprisingly awkward issues.

1. What do you mean you blew up our Minecraft base?

Hours of combined effort gone in a whim. Kids obviously don't understand, initially anyway, that some actions are permanent. I let the first base destruction sink in and really get into my child's psyche before I whipped out the hero dad maneuver of... incremental backups!

2. Why can't I read your comic books/graphic novels?

Finding a place to sneak in your comics or graphic novels is a bittersweet victory. On one hand you want to share a love of reading, but the imagery of The Walking Dead... Enough said.
The kid appropriate comic book space does leave something to be desired, yet it is good enough in many regards. Familiar characters are great, but many of the stories are exact copies of their animated TV counterparts... often actual still frames from that show. Maybe when the kid is older...

3. No I do not want to play Lego Star Wars... again.

"Listen kid. I get it, it's Lego AND Star Wars, but we beat that game twice now and there are so many other games to play. Your solution?" Lego Marvel? I can't wait for this kid to read.

4. Batman cannot defeat the Hulk.

Superhero Universe superiority arguments aside. There are physics at play here. Don't argue this point. Batman will lose.

5. I am guarding all the doors and I am holding all the keys.

Sooner or later, he must fight me. There will come a time that the child's reflexes will surpass mine. There will come a time when this kid will legitimately frag me. Until then, his attempts are like waves upon the shore. Many tides will pass before the wave wins out. Yes, I was letting you win before.

6. K/D Ratios and Limited Resources

Having your kid sit on your lap and pretend to be your pilot and you be the Titan is awesome. Having them call in your Titan Fall is great as well. Explaining why they can't actually play, is both awkward and tiring. In time they will grow to understand what it means to function on a certain level and why a K/D of 1/25 is bad.

7. Screen Names, Gamer Tags, and Aliases

Pick something that is manageable. Something that you can carry with you from medium to medium. PoopyHead2015 is a not an alias that you want following you around.

8. The other parent isn't a geek.

It can be a bummer to not share some of the geeky passions as a family. On the other hand, there are likely things that your offspring will be exposed to, that with just you, they likely would not. Not being a geek is ok too. Yes... you will have to play outside.

9. "You can't stop the signal, Mal"

Every kid needs to learn that the internet is forever. You put it out there and it is always there, plus it can propagate like crazy. Oh and your search history? Other people can see that. Additionally, if it happens on my network, I know about it.

10. One of these things is not like the other.

You're a geek. You've dreamed of sharing your geekiness with your child. Dreamed of gaming binges. Dreamed of being their healer while they tank some serious aggro. Your kid isn't. Your kid doesn't. This is ok. Share in their interests, as you might find something new to geek on.

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